NOTE: I received this book for free from Christian Focus for the purpose of this review. I was required to be honest in my review, and the opinions I have expressed are my own.

Invisible Grief’s subtitle: “An Honest Conversation on the Pain and Loss of Unrealized Hopes, Dreams, and Good Desires” got my attention, as there have been seasons in my life where I’ve had to process the pain of losing dreams. The title ‘Invisible Grief’ accurately describes what this pain felt like.

Pastor Drew Hensley writes from his own experience of grappling with grief connected with infertility, as well as from pastoring and supporting friends and church members through their grief. The lessons shared in this book come across as heartfelt and honest, as he describes the difficult journey and the not-for-polite-christian-company questions he has wrestled with.

When Drew refers to invisible grief, he speaks of good desires that people have, even God-given ones, yet for some reason these desires have not yet been fulfilled, leaving an ache in their souls. These good desires include “to have a spouse, to have children and grow our family, to be healed physically, to be healed mentally, to have stability, to have my child healed physically/mentally, to have resolution and healing from what happened in the past.”

Invisible Grief offers a great deal of insight, empathy, and encouragement to those who may be experiencing this private, misunderstood kind of grief, and it offers a strange hope that can only be found by walking the path of grief rather than taking a shortcut. I say ‘strange’ hope because grief and hope don’t feel like natural companions. Yet as Drew helps us move beyond simple platitudes and into the depths of God’s promises and character, there is hard-won hope that is solid and trustworthy.

This book also feels like a gentle pastoral challenge to the church to acknowledge and legitimise the grief many people feel, without defining them by it.

Here are some quotes that stood out to me:

“God sees our suffering, even when others do not.” (Justin Holcomb)

“We often cause ourselves so much more suffering by avoiding reality, instead of accepting what actually is.”

“When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and I get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer. To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.” (Brennan Manning)

“God is not in the business of hiring workers, but of adopting sons and daughters.”

Read this book if…

You are looking for words to describe your feelings and thoughts about a long-term challenge. Or for those who are experiencing doubt or questions about God’s goodness and promises.

It’s for people who have experienced a loss or an unfulfilled long-term desire or dream that has become a source of pain. Examples used in the book appear in the first section above.

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Thank you very much for reading. If you found this encouraging and helpful, please share it with friends and followers. Let me know in the comments if you’ve read ‘Invisible Grief’ and what stood out to you from it, Dan :)

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